Its been awhile

Since i've updated. Its been awhile since i've felt this way though.

Quoted from my favorite book, Tuck Everlasting, "The first week of August hangs at the very top of summer, the top of the live-long year, like the highest seat of a Ferris Wheel when it pasuses in its turning. The weeks that come before are only a climb from balmy spring, and those that follow a drop to the chill of autumn, but the first week of August is motionless, and hot. It is curiously silent, too, with black white dawns and glaring noons,and sunsets smeared with too much color. Often at night there is lightening, but it quivers all alone. There is no thunder, no reliever rain. These are strange and breathless days, the dog days, when people are led to do things they are sure to be sorry for after."

I feel that this week is a week much like that. I feel like i'm stuck at the top of a ferris wheel and i can't move. Everything is too quiet and motionless unfortunately it's not even colorful. I need to escape this town for alittle while until i find what i'm searching for. Waking up to the same places and faces everyday just isn't helping me find what i should be doing in life. All i know for sure is that my passion for new things will take me all around the world. Anyways, I am trying to make the best of the situation but that seems harder and harder everyday. Dealing with knowing that the person you love will never share the same amount of love back, knowing that i will always be at a disadvantage because of someones past, and knowing that i must be completely independant because the adults in my life are far too iresponsible to handle things. Well i'm going to find something to do. Byee.