You may be right

But you're only right about one thing.
yes, when i'm around them it's like starting from ground one. It rebuilds the memories, it gives me hope, it gives me the desire to push harder, to wake up again, to stay myself and not turn into a person that finds pleasure in nothing more than food, cigarettes, and the little computer in front of me.
Why is that wrong? How is that a problem?
You say I'm no individual but if i'm not then why was a born by myself and not born as a parasite living inside "my host" I wake up, I used to wake up and rage, now I wake up in rage. It's a fight everyday between keeping true to myself when everyone here is against it or just giving up, falling into what you want. Then how much of an individual would I be?
If you knew how far I'd go or how far they'd go for me, not the false unhappy me, then you'd change your perception. Until then keep thiking I'm weak, keep thinking I'll do nothing with my life, keep thinking my friends aren't as close as my family and don't treat me as such...
13 months and counting for it to just be a bad memory.

Hey guh, whatcho name is?

Now that i have a lot of time to think and more things to think about it's made me question my future alot more. I'm not too sure if i'll ever get married, but i guarantee i'm going to have a little boy one day. I was born knowing one day I'd be a mother and with the experiences with my mother now I can know one day i'm going to be a good mother. As for a good wife who knows? I've thought about relationships alot lately and nothing here fits. I've met tons of knew boys here but most of the ones I've met go to my school, that seems to be a problem. I don't think I could ever date much less marry someone that sits next to me in creative writing and plans on being a lawyer one day. What kind of life would I live with a man that sits behind a book all his life striving to have a corporate job behind a desk? The only way I could even stand to be in a relationship is with someone that's seen more than me and will help me see it all too. Don't get me wrong I'd love to have something one day that was so special that i could actually get married, but right now i'm just looking for friends, for people to talk to. I can't carry on a relationship with anyone back home while i'm here and it's not looking too promising with anyone here so maybe i'm just destined to have me my son and our animals when i grow up lol.

Well, on another note things seem to be getting a little better at a time.