dear meridth,

If i could send myself a letter from now to a few months ago I would have so much to say. I've realized more in the past year than my many years of private school have taught me. The main thing that you need to know is just because someone is in your life they aren't necessarily your friend; just because someone is your friend doesn't mean they love you and will always be there for you; and just because someone loves you and is there for you doesn't mean they won't hurt you in the end. If I would've figured this out earlier it would've saved so many problems but i guess there are some things you need to learn from first hand experience. Another big thing is don't give up what you want for someone else but don't do something you want that is going to effect you in a bad way that makes others not want to be around you. I gave up my best friend for someone else and their lifestyle and by taking on those things i lost alot more than my best friend and gained alot more negative things. Now that I've realized that, I lost the lifestyle and the friend but gained a better perception of where i should be. I'm thankful for the people that were there in the beginning, they learned to love a person that i hated and now that i have become a person I'm happy with they don't really approve. I guess everyone entered my life at the wrong time. But everything happens for a reason, right? Well i guess the purpose for all of this was to teach me the difference between a real friend and an acquaintance and the difference between a good decision and a horrible one. I'm happy with where i am now, but looking back it's sad to see who i had to go through and what i had to do to get here. I apologize to the people I've hurt or let down on my way here but i guess that's just growing up.