It's like 4th grade dodgeball and the team captains are playing rock, paper, scissors over me.

i don't understand why i have to choose between people or people and the things i like. This is like getting a daily lecture in preschool and they just keep repeating what they say day after day. I want more happy people surrounding me.
surrounding yourself with positive people brings a positive life.

"i would die for you, but i won't live for you"

everyone has to live for his or her life and then make the choice to share it with other people.

Falling into insanity

When I see homeless people sleeping in the park, walking down my street, or standing outside the mission the same thoughts always run through my head: where did they go wrong? what has there life been like? was it one bad decision that caused a snowball effect that changed the path of their success or have they always been at a disadvantage? The large majority of homeless people have a mental disorder whether they developed it from drug dependency or the mental strain of failing and living in the streets. Anyways, I feel more like those people sleeping on park benches everyday. I'm not homeless or living in poverty but I feel like my mental state is fading into something they could connect with. I'm not too familiar with mental illness, but maybe I should start doing some research. I'm not saying I am developing the mindset of a serial killer or anything that bizarre. I feel like it's more of a gift but at the same time it's an overbearing fear. I live in a dual world. From the moment I close my eyes I don't know where I'm going to be or if I'll know if my dreams are actually happening or not. Maybe it's not an illness, maybe it's just who I am, maybe it's my portal to my creativity and it allows me to delve into extreme scenarios and my wildest imaginations. I don't want to end up pushing everyone out of my life and being homeless but this is a side of me that's becoming more dominant with everytime I go to sleep. I'm fearful that this will keep me from being who I should be but from now on I'm going to have a positive outlook and say that this is helping me become myself.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Is definitely a great book, but it has nothing on my biography.

I should get to work on my book again. The story line is amazing.