Dear 2008,

You weren't a wonderful year but I sure wouldn't mind having you back right about now. It's only been 09' for 11 days and i'm already wishing it would be over. I said this year would be a good year but so far it looks like that isn't going to happen. I've lost everything, all the stability in my life. I always said i would like to wake up and have no pattern but it's coming on too fast. I need something normal again. I want to be close to the people I used to be close to, I want to feel important and needed, and I want to be able to be optimistic. I've given up on wishing on 11:11 starting today apparently those haven't worked in a while. I wish that I could control people's emotions for a day to show the world how I feel. I want the late nights of 08' back, I want the days that I had no insecurities back, and most of all I want the closeness that I shared with everyone close to me.
John Bryant has brought me through 08 through everything, that's all I need this year.

09' here we go.!

Well, it's January 2nd and right now i'm pretty disappointed in the way this 09' is going so far. I feel like i've lost everything important that used to be close to me. The only truly important thing that i've gotten closer to is John Bryant, everything else has drifted away. I spent my new years eve taking my mother to a bar followed by a interesting night with John. The nights following and preceding that night were spent arguing with Will, ending in us breaking up. Honestly, this will turn out for the better. Hopefull this year will prove to be the best yet.